Certainly seems to be true when it comes to talking about, or not talking about … money. Centuries have passed since the first use of money, and yet money remains a taboo subject.
A subject for many to be avoided at all costs.
Conversations involving money are uncomfortable because of their intimate nature.
How you feel about, act with, and experience money reflects what you believe about yourself and what you think is possible.
Sharing those intimate details about yourself and money can be unnerving. Especially for those that own/run a business when their personal and family’s livelihood is dependent upon its success.
But if you can’t talk about “you and money”, how effective is your financial decision-making process? And what kind of impact will that have on the success of your business and your overall well-being?
Two of the most common money issues –
And least talked about – that I see in business owners and solo-preneurs are chronic underearning and avoidance/aversion, both of which are indications of an unhealthy relationship with money.
Chronic underearning is the consequence of a lack/scarcity mindset and beliefs that are self-limiting in nature.
One’s underlying thoughts may sound like … I’m not good enough; I don’t/can’t provide enough value; I don’t have what it takes; My product/service isn’t quite ready; It doesn’t seem right to charge – it goes against my principles.
A lack/scarcity mindset coupled with self-limiting beliefs can often result in:
The struggle to set values-based fees or increase fees.
The owner’s assumption that their client or prospect is unable to afford or won’t see the value in their product or service.
The owner forcing a sale or discounting the fee out of desperation.
The owner feeling stuck or stagnant and not reaching or exceeding revenue goals.
The owner exceeding their goals, BUT still feels underwhelmed, unsatisfied, unfulfilled.
When we are not at peace with money, we are likely to avoid it or have an aversion to it, even though we know it’s necessary for our survival.
One’s hidden beliefs may be … people with money are bad, or money is bad and the root of all evil. Some may place all financial responsibility on someone else or take the “ostrich approach” because they’re afraid of what they’ll find.
Having a conflicted or fearful relationship with money may look like/sound like:
An owner that says, “I hate sales” or “I hate selling”.
An owner that loves their craft/product/service but wants nothing to do with managing the business which includes financial decision-making.
An owner or practitioner that is afraid of being seen as inauthentic or compromising their principles.
An owner that wants to retire but can’t bring themselves to do so. Their identity is so wrapped up in their business that they cannot envision a life of fulfillment beyond their business. And some cannot trust that they “have enough” to retire despite the financial proof provided by their financial professional.
If nearly every decision you make is influenced by money, wouldn’t you agree that having a healthy relationship with money is a key factor to your success as a business owner?
And wouldn’t you agree that this is true whether you are just starting out or getting ready to sell or transfer your business?
If these common money issues are not looked at and talked about, then no one can expect to change their financial circumstances for the better, much less their quality of life.
And without a healthy relationship with money, how you show up in the face of a major life transition, like the sale or transfer of a business, may cause you to undermine your best intentions and efforts.
As a business owner, how high of a price are you willing to pay by not looking at and addressing the health of your relationship with money?
No matter where you are in your business … it’s never too late to learn how to pay attention to and notice your own hidden money dynamics. Your business and quality of life can only get better when you have a clear understanding of what is driving your financial decision-making process.
It’s the difference between making decisions when you are stressed, worried, and pressured versus making decisions from a place of peace, because peace is our greatest resource for effective decision-making.
If you are curious about what is currently driving your financial decision-making and how it’s affecting your business, start the conversation by taking the Money Types Quiz.
I promise it won’t hurt and it won’t be scary …
Hear more about money issues from my guest appearance on Connie Whitesell’s business growth podcast:
The CMC® designation combines sound coaching principles with practical financial coaching to assist individuals better understand their relationship with money and finances. Money Coaching complements financial professionals as an additional “field of expertise” to offer their existing client base. Certificate Candidates are required to complete Modules One, Two and Three; complete the “Core Process” and a Client Assessment on a minimum of two “practice clients”; complete all exercises in the Certified Money Coach workbook; submit their work and conduct a final review with and to the satisfaction of the Money Coaching Institute. Upon satisfactory completion of items above, candidates will be awarded the Certified Money Coach (CMC)® designation (along with the rights to use the service marks) and will be issued a Certificate of Completion.
It bankrupts your patience and any remaining good sense.
You probably wonder, “What the hell am I paying for?”
Divorce is hard.
It’s complicated, overwhelming, and heart wrenching. It’s painful, scary, intimidating, and maddening. It’s also quite costly.
The pressure is on to make decisions … big decisions … involving the here and now and the next.
All you want is for it to be over.
That’s why your decision-making is typically impulsive and rushed.
But what if your perception of divorce is nothing more than a simple misunderstanding?
My First Divorce
It was my first divorce and before I had even met with my attorney, I somehow knew that the process would be slow, difficult, and expensive.
But how did I know? And how did I know that everyone involved, including myself, would be miserable?
Truth was, I didn’t know. Not absolutely. I assumed based on the experiences of others. And I chose to believe I was right.
God – if only I could have been wrong!
Divorce was hell. It was war. And those I thought were on my side, really weren’t.
I was scared, hurt, and robbed … on many levels … physically, emotionally, and financially.
And at the end of it all, I was not left for better, but for worse.
(Sound familiar?)
It Was Me
But who could I blame?
A faulty legal system? An unsympathetic judge? An attorney that appeared more interested in clocking their hourly rate than tending to their client’s peace of mind?
If not them, then who?
Well, the obvious answer is me.
If only I had been aware that the quality of my experience with divorce had been in my control all along.
No one forced me to believe that every aspect of divorce is difficult. I was the one that chose to make the horror stories of others my own. And then my subsequent divorces were experienced in similar fashion because I didn’t believe I had another choice. I didn’t believe that I could experience divorce as something other than misery.
You’re Right
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford
Just like money, there isn’t anything right or wrong, or good or bad about divorce.
If you think money is intimidating, elusive, or loathsome, you’re right. And how you conduct yourself with money will be your proof.
If you think divorce is stressful, painful, and costly, you’re right. And how you conduct yourself during and after your divorce will be your proof.
It wasn’t until my fourth marriage was coming to an end that I realized the truth of Henry Ford’s words.
And it had nothing to do with “do we or don’t we”.
It was about if I wanted to prove myself right again. Or was I ready and willing to believe that divorce is in fact swift, uncomplicated … and effortless?
Drop It
Another divorce came with breast cancer too. I recall my Oncologist advising me to drop everything I thought I knew about the treatment of breast cancer, to forget everything I had ever read and everything I had ever been told. He said it was all crap and had nothing to do with me or my cancer.
Eventually I believed him … and that’s what saved me.
I could tell you that the healthiest thing you could do is to drop all your preconceived ideas of what divorce is like. But you won’t … because you can’t change what you’re unaware of.
So, the first thing for you to do is take the step you don’t want to take.
Regardless of where you are in your divorce, before, during, or on the other side of it, you must decide if it’s more important for you to be right or be happy.
That’s when the door to the “classroom of divorce” will open, inviting you in.
What is that classroom?
I’d love to have a chat with you and explain … please click below and schedule a complimentary discovery session.
And if you’re really curious … take the Money Types Quiz to see what is currently influencing your financial decision making and impacting your divorce too.
Then you can sign up to attend my free webinar, hosted by UB, on Wednesday, October 25th at noon.
Watch my videos below to learn more about how wealth coaching can transform your decision-making:
Your Authentic Life
Feel like your life is narrated by someone else? Christine and friend of Note, Tamara, unpack how to live your authentic life instead.
Bring Those Beliefs to Light
How can you bring light to your financial anxiety? Christine and friend of Note, Tamara, have an idea. And it involves brunch.
Unlocking Business Growth and Financial Freedom
Christine goes on Connie Whitesell's business podcast to talk about how wealth coaching can help you achieve financial freedom.
It Was Something I Needed to Do
Friend of Note Alicia Kay shares what she discovered in her first wealth coaching session.
Alicia Kay is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Money Isn't Out to Get Me
Friend and client of Note Chelsea Haines shares how Christine helped with anxiety surrounding money.
Chelsea Haines is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
She Couldn't Trust the Numbers
What happens when you reach your goal but you just can't trust the numbers?
Greg and Laura Beatty are current clients of Note and were not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Finding Yourself Stuck
Christine unpacks how to get un-stuck during or after a divorce.
You Can't Change What You Can't See
Christine gives her secret for seeing divorce as a classroom.
Start Wealth Coaching Early
Friend and client of Note Chelsea Haines shares how starting early with Christine was transformative. Chelsea Haines is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
What Greg and Laura Loved About Wealth Coaching
Wealth coaching helped Greg & Laura choose to see life differently.
Greg and Laura Beatty are current clients of Note and were not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Flourish & Flow
Flourish & Flow helps remove the fear and anxiety from planning your finances.
You Don't Want to Believe It
Everyone knows money won’t make you happy. But we all behave like it will.
Being Unhappy Looks Like
You may have unhealthy beliefs about money. Ready to change them?
B.A.B.R.
Belief. Attitude. Behavior. Results. Christine explains it all.
Money and Happiness
If you want a healthy relationship with money, you have to confront your beliefs.
If You've Lost Everything
How “losing it all” can teach you about your relationship with money.
The Happy One
Christine shares one woman's journey from tragedy.
Who's Driving?
Most of us make decisions with our gut, riding whatever mood we're in.
Four Relationships, Three Brains
If following good advice was easy, consultants and coaches wouldn't have jobs.
Christine's Money Story
We all have a money story. Christine shares how she overcame hers.
You Have a Relationship with Money
What you think and feel about money affects your decisions.
Not Enough
Christine tells the story of a client who learned to enjoy her present success.
A Chance to Be More
Christine reveals how to be deliberate and confident in your decisions.
When to Start Wealth Coaching?
You can't make wise decisions if your state of mind isn't healthy.
Fear Is Planning Your Finances
Christine explains how our fear can take the wheel.
What Really Changes Your Life?
Real change is hard. Christine unpacks how to get results you want.
I'll Be Happy When...
Everyone knows numbers don't make you happy.
Judge Not
Christine has a fresh take on the topic of judging others and ourselves.
Everybody's Got It
Christine talks about alternatives to judging yourself harshly.
You're for Sale
Listen as Christine talks about “selling out.”
Lost in the Enormity of Life
Christine and Tamara McMillan explore what we chase after.
The Gift of Choice
Christine and Tamara McMillan unpack the power of choice.
Prostitutes and Coffee
Christine shares a...captivating coffee story.
Belief. Attitude. Behavior. Results.
Christine explains what’s really driving those precious results.
The Real Meaning of Wealth
Christine and Tom discuss what wealth really is.
You've Sold, But Something Feels Wrong
Christine has an idea of where your purpose went.
The CMC® designation combines sound coaching principles with practical financial coaching to assist individuals better understand their relationship with money and finances. Money Coaching complements financial professionals as an additional “field of expertise” to offer their existing client base. Certificate Candidates are required to complete Modules One, Two and Three; complete the “Core Process” and a Client Assessment on a minimum of two “practice clients”; complete all exercises in the Certified Money Coach workbook; submit their work and conduct a final review with and to the satisfaction of the Money Coaching Institute. Upon satisfactory completion of items above, candidates will be awarded the Certified Money Coach (CMC)® designation (along with the rights to use the service marks) and will be issued a Certificate of Completion.
You probably have an instant picture of the word and what it means. The same could be true of “wealth coach.” Problem is, most people don’t know what a wealth coach is or does … and when they find out, they either want to dive right in, or run.
If you’re a runner or are sitting on the fence about having a conversation about wealth coaching, perhaps dispelling the myths surrounding this work will provide some clarity. At least enough to either get you off the fence or know what you’re running from.
Myth #1 – Wealth coaching is just financial planning or wealth management.
While it’s super flattering to hear someone immediately exclaim, “I need you!”, after they hear that I’m a wealth coach, we soon learn that their first impression of what a wealth coach does is wrong.
A wealth coach (at least this one) does not help you manage or invest your money. That’s the work of your financial advisor or planner.
A wealth coach will help you to manage your relationships with money … your instinctive, emotional, practical, and spiritual relationships with money. When these four relationships are healthy and operating in harmony with all facets of life, true wealth (well-being) is achieved.
Myth #2 – All wealth coaches (and money coaches) are the same.
It’s safe to say that most coaches have some type of certification or degree that qualifies them to do the work they do. But to assume that coaches who share the same title, for example “wealth coach,” “money coach,” or “life coach,” also share the same educational background is…shortsighted.
An example: I am an Ordained Metaphysical Minister, I have a degree in Metaphysical Science, and I am a Certified Money Coach CMC®.
Wealth Coach is a title I gave myself twelve years ago. I was intentional with my word choice just as I had been intentional with my degree and certification of choice. It all had to reflect what I stood for, the service I was providing, and be relatable.
The original definition of wealth is “your current state of well-being; or path to happiness.” The fact that we have four relationships with money makes money a powerful classroom for self-discovery, personal/professional growth, and life transformation.
So, as a wealth coach, I help people experience greater well-being (happiness), by transforming how they relate to money and life, changing how they choose to see themselves, and what they believe is possible.
Myth #3 – You’ll help me get rich.
A wealth coach won’t help you get rich. That’s not our job … that’s not our purpose.
It’s unfortunate that our happiness, right here and right now, is determined by how much we have and how much we make. Our identity, our sense of worthiness, what we believe about ourselves, and our capabilities are measured by and defined by our financial capital.
A wealth coach will ask, what value does being rich bring to your life? Is it about how others will perceive you? Do you have something to prove? Or do you believe that being rich will provide peace of mind?
A wealth coach will also tell you not to fight against what you currently believe. Examine it instead.
You may say to yourself, “I will be the happiest when I’m rich.” And if that’s what you believe, don’t change it. Just say, “Well, that’s what I believe right now and that’s ok. It doesn’t make me a bad person, it doesn’t make me evil, but it also won’t make me happy. And as long as I think being rich will make me happy, then I just have to wait until I realize it won’t make me happy.”
Being rich isn’t right or wrong. It’s the attitude that you bring to being rich that will ultimately determine your quality of life and well-being.
Myth #4 – You’re going to put me on a budget.
A wealth coach won’t ever tell you what to do. How you do money and finances is 100% up to you. But, if you resist looking at how you spend or you don’t have a conscious spending plan, then you may have an unhealthy relationship with money. And this goes for personal finances as well as business.
Other indications of an unhealthy relationship with money are:
Blaming others, the market, or the economy for your situation.
Impulsive spending, giving, or even investing.
You and your spouse/partner arguing over money, work, or business.
Tapping into your personal savings to meet employee expenses or payroll.
Money having authority in your life.
Being afraid of making the wrong decision.
… and many more!
Budgets aren’t bad and they’re not a form of punishment. They’re a really good tool for keeping you on track and aware of your spending.
But if you want to be successful at maintaining a conscious spending plan (budget), you need to become aware of and heal the belief patterns that are triggering your resistance, blaming, impulsiveness, etc. – which is the job of a wealth coach.
Myth #5 – You’re going to judge me.
For most folks, money makes us feel vulnerable. Talking about money is downright scary, uncomfortable, and simply too revealing.
I get it.
Two of my divorces left me financially crippled and one of them resulted in my filing for bankruptcy. And while I survived breast cancer, it was more than I could afford financially, even with health insurance and a grant.
And that’s why, as a wealth coach, one of the first questions I will ask someone is, “what is the one thing about you and money that you don’t want anyone to know?”
I don’t ask this to make you feel uncomfortable or ashamed. I ask so that you can find safety in being open and honest about money, about where you’re at, and about what’s going on in your head.
The first task of a wealth coach is to hold a safe space for open dialogue. And over a short period of time, what was once uncomfortable to talk about is now comfortable … because YOU are no longer judging yourself.
Myth #6 – You can’t help me with finding purpose and fulfillment.
If nearly every decision you make is influenced by money, then the quality of your relationships with money will determine how you experience life overall. In simple terms this means that the very nature of you and money will either leave you feeling “short” on purpose and fulfillment or feeling truly satisfied and in love with life.
I have witnessed time and time again that our most important relationship with money is our spiritual relationship. And it’s the one most often ignored.
Allowing money to be a classroom, a wealth coach will help you become aware of and bring forth the great unrealized potential that exists in your life right here and now.
You will be asked what you believe … about money … and time … what you believe about choice … and yes, even what you believe about God/Spirit. You will be gently and firmly challenged to question your understanding of who you think you are and what you believe is possible.
I want to know, and more importantly, I want you to know, all that you believe because it is the beliefs that you hold that will either move you towards or away from a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Myth #7 – I have a significant net worth, or I have enough money; therefore, I don’t need a wealth coach.
You may be right. You don’t need a wealth coach. But is knowing that you have a high (or ultra-high) net worth your final destination? Is having enough money your only measure of complete well-being and sustainable happiness?
If it is, fantastic!
However, I have found that those that consider themselves financially successful often suffer from chronic “not-enough-ness.” There’s usually something missing, and this becomes clear when …
They resist committing to a retirement date … They resist selling their business or turning it over to the family … They can’t (or won’t) envision a new life for themselves …
A wealth coach will ask …
What is it about setting that retirement date that scares you? What is it about letting go of controlling the business that bothers you? Tell me what matters most to you … what are you doing when you are most like yourself?
It’s that line of questioning that will get to the heart of one’s resistance, allowing them to begin to release their fears so they can begin to see what’s really been missing …
True wealth has nothing to do with money, it’s about what makes your heart sing.
Myths are Neutral
Like any thought, a myth is neutral until you decide to believe it.
If any of the myths I wrote about rang true to you, we should talk. Please reach out to me at christine@noteadvisor.com. Or schedule a call or meeting directly on my calendly.
Want to learn about what’s influencing the effectiveness of your financial decision-making? Take the Money Types Quiz now!
Watch my videos below to learn more about how wealth coaching can transform your decision-making:
Your Authentic Life
Feel like your life is narrated by someone else? Christine and friend of Note, Tamara, unpack how to live your authentic life instead.
Bring Those Beliefs to Light
How can you bring light to your financial anxiety? Christine and friend of Note, Tamara, have an idea. And it involves brunch.
Unlocking Business Growth and Financial Freedom
Christine goes on Connie Whitesell's business podcast to talk about how wealth coaching can help you achieve financial freedom.
It Was Something I Needed to Do
Friend of Note Alicia Kay shares what she discovered in her first wealth coaching session.
Alicia Kay is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Money Isn't Out to Get Me
Friend and client of Note Chelsea Haines shares how Christine helped with anxiety surrounding money.
Chelsea Haines is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
She Couldn't Trust the Numbers
What happens when you reach your goal but you just can't trust the numbers?
Greg and Laura Beatty are current clients of Note and were not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Finding Yourself Stuck
Christine unpacks how to get un-stuck during or after a divorce.
You Can't Change What You Can't See
Christine gives her secret for seeing divorce as a classroom.
Start Wealth Coaching Early
Friend and client of Note Chelsea Haines shares how starting early with Christine was transformative. Chelsea Haines is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
What Greg and Laura Loved About Wealth Coaching
Wealth coaching helped Greg & Laura choose to see life differently.
Greg and Laura Beatty are current clients of Note and were not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Flourish & Flow
Flourish & Flow helps remove the fear and anxiety from planning your finances.
You Don't Want to Believe It
Everyone knows money won’t make you happy. But we all behave like it will.
Being Unhappy Looks Like
You may have unhealthy beliefs about money. Ready to change them?
B.A.B.R.
Belief. Attitude. Behavior. Results. Christine explains it all.
Money and Happiness
If you want a healthy relationship with money, you have to confront your beliefs.
If You've Lost Everything
How “losing it all” can teach you about your relationship with money.
The Happy One
Christine shares one woman's journey from tragedy.
Who's Driving?
Most of us make decisions with our gut, riding whatever mood we're in.
Four Relationships, Three Brains
If following good advice was easy, consultants and coaches wouldn't have jobs.
Christine's Money Story
We all have a money story. Christine shares how she overcame hers.
You Have a Relationship with Money
What you think and feel about money affects your decisions.
Not Enough
Christine tells the story of a client who learned to enjoy her present success.
A Chance to Be More
Christine reveals how to be deliberate and confident in your decisions.
When to Start Wealth Coaching?
You can't make wise decisions if your state of mind isn't healthy.
Fear Is Planning Your Finances
Christine explains how our fear can take the wheel.
What Really Changes Your Life?
Real change is hard. Christine unpacks how to get results you want.
I'll Be Happy When...
Everyone knows numbers don't make you happy.
Judge Not
Christine has a fresh take on the topic of judging others and ourselves.
Everybody's Got It
Christine talks about alternatives to judging yourself harshly.
You're for Sale
Listen as Christine talks about “selling out.”
Lost in the Enormity of Life
Christine and Tamara McMillan explore what we chase after.
The Gift of Choice
Christine and Tamara McMillan unpack the power of choice.
Prostitutes and Coffee
Christine shares a...captivating coffee story.
Belief. Attitude. Behavior. Results.
Christine explains what’s really driving those precious results.
The Real Meaning of Wealth
Christine and Tom discuss what wealth really is.
You've Sold, But Something Feels Wrong
Christine has an idea of where your purpose went.
The CMC® designation combines sound coaching principles with practical financial coaching to assist individuals better understand their relationship with money and finances. Money Coaching complements financial professionals as an additional “field of expertise” to offer their existing client base. Certificate Candidates are required to complete Modules One, Two and Three; complete the “Core Process” and a Client Assessment on a minimum of two “practice clients”; complete all exercises in the Certified Money Coach workbook; submit their work and conduct a final review with and to the satisfaction of the Money Coaching Institute. Upon satisfactory completion of items above, candidates will be awarded the Certified Money Coach (CMC)® designation (along with the rights to use the service marks) and will be issued a Certificate of Completion.
